Self-awareness
1. Turning Your Life Around - Learn New Skills and Replace Destructive Beliefs
2. Moving Beyond Survival Mode - Gain Self-knowledge and Grasp The Big Picture
3. Understanding the Reluctance to Feel – Overcome Negative Feelings, Enjoy Positive Ones
Healing
4. Rebuilding – Increase Self-confidence and Self-worth, See Your Star Rise
5. Fulfilling Destiny, Finding Your Path - Establish Goals, Celebrate Progress
6. Stopping Fears from Controlling You - Repel Anxiety, Unnecessary Worry
7. You are God’s Creation and Treasure - Beat Unwarranted Guilt and Shame
Self Love
8. Never Be Alone Again - Conversational Magic, See Shyness Disappear
9. Expressing Anger Without Going to Jail – Release and Use Anger Constructively
10. When You’re Much Too Giving – Balance People Pleasing and Your Needs
Relationship Building
11. Overcoming Loneliness, Finding Friends – Build a Support System that Works
12. Building Trust and Safety – Behaviors, Beliefs and Attitudes that Bring Intimacy
13. Welcoming Your Life’s Transition – The Positive Effects of Change
Spirituality
14. Experiencing Positive Spirituality, Nourishing Your Soul – A Spirit-guided Life
Goal achievement/Success/Joyfulness
15. Re-parenting with Love - Have Fun, Enjoy Humor, Nurture Your Inner Child
16. Satisfying Your Emotional Being - Openness, Love, Sensuality and True Intimacy
17. The Best Years of Your Life – New Skills, Beliefs and Attitudes
18. A Decade Later, Your Legacy Revealed – Plan to Reach Your Potential
Transformation for Life shows you how to do the work to heal, rebuild and move on to a life filled with greater joy and success. The chapters in Transformation for Life are grouped into six categories: self-awareness, healing, self-love, relationship-building, spirituality and goal achievement. They serve as building blocks that comprise a program that provides healing and also teaches important life skills.
Learn How To:
Heal and nurture your inner child and soul.
Become the fully alive person you were meant to be.
Identify needs, values, and what’s really important in your life.
Build intimate, loving and significant relationships.
Increase self-awareness, self-confidence and self-love.
Break the cycle of people-pleasing and get your needs met.
Stop reacting to triggers or acting out the wounds of childhood.
Get free of past emotional difficulties and enjoy positive feelings.
Live in the present while planning for your future.
Katie, an ACOA who was raised by an alcoholic father, regularly had her relationships abruptly end. "I was never sure why until attending a 12 step support group," she said. "I soon discovered how certain events could “trigger” reactions that were developed during childhood. Some were strong ones that were inappropriate for current events. In my case, I once dumped a pot of spaghetti over my boyfriend’s head. He was ignoring me, just like my father used to and I felt angry and hurt so I wanted to hurt him. It turned out that my boyfriend came for dinner with a 101-degree fever because he wanted to see me, but wasn’t responsive because of being sick. He responded to the spaghetti all right, but not in a good way. These days I’m trying to become aware of when events “trigger” the behavior I learned in childhood and react more appropriately.”
Healing can’t begin until self-awareness identifies the problems. Exercises in Transformation for Life enable you to acquire self-knowledge, understand what happened as a child and discover the connection between current behaviors and past experiences. You’ll get in touch with personal strengths, attributes, beliefs, values, needs and priorities. Also you’ll learn how to get in touch with feelings, determine where triggered responses are originating, and see how to end the cycle that keeps you reliving past hurts.
One common characteristic of ACOAs is low self-confidence because they receive minimal nurturing, are often verbally abused and are taught to place their needs last. In some instances there is physical or emotional abuse that further destroys self-esteem. In Transformation for Life, this difficulty is addressed by providing exercises that increase self-confidence and worth. They’re part of a rebuilding process that has you take incremental steps in personal achievement. The book also works to replace bad internal messages and beliefs with ones that generate self-worth.
ACOAs sometimes feel like they caused the alcoholism by their very existence and as a result were responsible for the difficult times their sober parent had to endure, among a myriad of other things. This unwarranted shame and guilt can lead to depression and isolation. In Transformation for Life, you’ll see how to break shame’s destructive cycle, reject undeserved guilt and be free to grow. You’ll learn how to stop fears from controlling you, how to use anger appropriately, and how to develop in various areas of your life.
Adult children of alcoholics have love and intimacy problems because among other things, there are abandonment issues, an unclear vision of what is normal, safety concerns, and also a tendency to give too much in a relationship. Skill-building exercises combine with a self-appraisal to help you attract and sustain greater intimacy. Special communication techniques can empower you to increase the depth of relationships. You’ll also see how to stop being a doormat at times but continue to be a wonderful person – one who finally gets your needs met.
God/Spirit is perhaps the greatest of all sources of hope for a wonderful future. But from living through a traumatic upbringing, an ACOA can form a negative opinion about God/Spirit. “How can there be a God if He allowed this to happen?” That’s a question often asked and there are no easy answers. But one thing for sure - you’re a spiritual being who has a soul and it’s important to plug in to the source - because the ability to connect can oftentimes make the difference between complete healing and moderate success. This segment of the book offers you many different options and lets you decide what resonates. It presents constructive ways to nourish your soul and get in touch with spirituality. Traditional and non-traditional options are presented. You can explore the best ways to effectively strengthen or awaken your individual spirit. Having faith in God’s strength can produce miracles, certainly including a full recovery from the damaging effects of being raised by an alcoholic parent.
“I’ve established a mission statement and am most of the way to achieving my goals,” said Jennifer. “Completing projects were tough as a child because of the unpredictable behavior of my parents when booze entered the picture. My parents never completed anything of substance and they were my model. But I’ve learned new skills and have a clear direction on what I’d like to do with my life. I visualized a Doctorate and new home three years ago and planned the necessary steps to get there. Next year I’ll reach my goals and am feeling pretty good about myself.”
The last section of Transformation for Life speaks to your future – what comes after your recovery, healing and growth. You’ll establish goals and a clear, detailed picture of how to get there. Your past DOES NOT and NEVER WILL dictate your future as long as you’re willing to work on recovery and growth. Transformation for Life shows you the steps that lead to a new life filled with greater joy and success.
